35M here and I want to improve my emotional stability. Going on 2 years through a divorce now and struggle when good things happen to me. How can I enjoy good things as they appear in my life?

For example, I am unemployed but just got news an old company wants to hire me back. It will be great to have some income again, but I feel sad that it's a step backwards, or that I should be doing MORE in my life, making more money, etc.

I go to a bar with a friend and we have a fun time listening to music. But after getting home I cry, thinking I should have been more chatty and friendly, approached more women, etc.

Why is my emotional regulation so OFF? Why do I feel so needy and emotionally dependent/codependent on another person to make me feel secure? Why am I so critical of myself? Even writing this post I struggle to overthink and evaluate myself...