I never asked to be here. I haven’t succeeded in any aspect I’ve wanted. I can’t blame it on the world so I blame it on myself. If it’s not everyone else’s fault it has to be my fault.

I’m not trying hard enough my best isn’t enough I’m not good enough and if I was enough I would have a job I would be in a relationship. I’d be happy with what I have. If I was enough I’d be happy just being me. I’m not smart enough I’m not emotionally intelligent enough.

If I haven’t gotten any romantic partners to last longer than a month in the 2 years I’ve started trying that’s a me problem it can’t be everyone else’s fault. I’m attracting the wrong people. I’m not healed enough. I’ve gotten to the point where I probably can’t name more than 1 trigger but that’s not enough because I still feel like shit. I’m not working out enough I’m not going to therapy enough. I don’t have enough hobbies. Am I too much to handle? Knowing what abuse looks like in a relationship isn’t enough I still haven’t meet the right person.

I’m not confident enough even through I’m much more confident then I’ve ever been it’s still not enough. I’m doing everything wrong I’m living life wrong because any problems in my life are my fault. I can’t blame it on everyone else the world doesn’t owe me a thing. No matter how much I change how much I move on I’m not guaranteed success or happiness fake tell you make it is a lie. If faking it works what does actually doing it get you!!? So far it’s gotten me nothing.

Edit: Spaced it out better.