I keep getting gaslit, told that it's on me how people treat me. Ever since I can remember, I've been made to feel less then. So far, everyone has abandoned me for some reason or another. Im OK with those who I made.it clear I wasn't looking for something serious, relationship-wise, but the important people? A wife who didn't want to fight for the relationship, treated me like crap for the last 3 years. All through my life, what I need and what I get never match up.

I just turned 50, and I so fucking lonely, it's painful. I make every effort to reach out to people, or get out and meet people, but their selfishness and lack of interest in anyone other than themselves cause me deep pain. I'm not sure I can last another year like this. Nothing but an empty void.

Even my sister has disappeared on me. So much ghosting, abandonment, and disappearances in my life whether intentional or unintentional. I feel like the universe is trying to tell me something.