I have ptsd due to some things that happened in 2020 over the course of 2 months (November and December). I developed a painful condition, which I’ll have for the rest of my life, and was in and out of the hospital constantly. I was also hospitalized twice this year due to infections, and it kind of broke me. I’ve been struggling so much and constantly scared that I’ll end up in the hospital again.

I used to love the holidays, but now I find it so stressful because I’m constantly reminded of the traumatic experiences I had. I want to enjoy it and spend time with my family, but I feel like I’m suffocating. I’ve been depressed and just laying around staring at my computer/watching TV all day, no motivation at all. I just want the holidays to be over. Does anyone else feel this way?