Abuse survivor here: csa, neglect, psychological and physical abuse, narcissistic abuse from childhood all the way up to this year, bullying, etc. I need to mope/vent/wallow.

Are we incapable of having fair, loving, kind, reciprocal relationships?

Every time I trust someone, it always ends in the same few ways. They take take take from me and don't give me anything. They deceive me to get the things they want. They completely abandon me when I try to negotiate fairness or ask for support. I'm never able to rely on anyone, every time I think I can they let me down. No matter how bad things are in my life, I'm always left to deal with them completely alone. All I want is someone I can trust, some security that someone will be there for me, that someone genuinely cares and won't mistreat and abandon me... Everyone else seems to get that in abundance, I can't understand why it's too much for me to ask for. Every relationship I get invested in follows the same pattern: I end up mistreated, abandoned, alone.

Is there something wrong with us? Why can't we have mutually supportive, loving and kind relationships? Or is it just me?

I normally don't hate. It takes a lot to get me to feel hatred towards anyone. But lately with these recurring let downs, I'm finding it really hard not to hate. Is it just me or do we who have horrible childhoods continually have horrible adult relationships too? It feels inescapable.