So, i have this friend who i consider the closest to me and who is also dating my girlfriend (we are in poly relationship, but the two of us, Aka; my friend and i, arent dating eachother)

And recently there is this person who has entered our trans support group, she is a transgirl who has a police report for SA, that was alledgeldy falsely put against her as a hate act because she is trans.

I think, knowing this wouldnt usually affect me, as i know there are many queer trans people who have suffered through false police reports. But the thing is, apparently this girl talks about it too light-heartedly, and according to my girlfriend and other people this has set many red flags. (I havent directly heard it from her, but i trust her and have many other sources to know this is not a rumor)

We dont know how true or false her version of the events is as she doesn't talk about it, she has only said "i have a police report for SA, it was a hate act against me" in several occasions and out of the blue (without trigger warnings or any emphaty for anyone in the room who couldve been sensitive to those topics)

Anyways, recently she has been trying hard to enter our friend group within the support group, she started as friend of two of the girls, and then climb her way into meeting each of us, including me (who at that time had no idea ans overall seemed super sweet and nice). Eventually my friend started to fell for her and wanted to try something with her.

My girlfriend warned him about the police report she has, and was not happy with him suddenly dating her, especially when he KNEW there was a huge chance she could've committed those acts. To her, my friend's attitude was "childish" like a teenager who wants to rebel and do something seemenly dangerous to feel the rush(or something) and i agree, their relationship came so out of the blue (imo) and quick.

The thing is, and my issue. I've been a CSA/SA victim, these experiences have broke me to the point I've even doubted if i made it all up (but i know something happened bc i have memories/dreams/thoughts i cant explain). It's given me a huge trauma that has marked all aspects of my life, and its something i cant openly speak to anyone, bc i wouldnt be believed. I was only able to talk about it today with my girlfriend when she said she thinks my friend is thinking on getting serious with the girl.

It just broke me, why would my friend date a person who COULD BE an abuser?! Doesnt he has any sympathy for the possible victims? Am i just speaking from the hate, hurt and trauma? Should i be so mad??

Ive told her (my gf) is my friend starts dating her i will cut off all friendship with him. Maybe the girl is not an abuser, but no one knows and the fact he seems to not care.. makes me worried, and angry.

I must mention is not like something similar happened before. There was another trans girl in our group who publicly admitted she r-worded someone on twitter, she said it was one of her alters (personality/DID) and she wanted to apologize even if she knew it was not redeemable. when i read her twit i just didn't like it, it came to me as an excuse as to not take blame of what happened. And since i have BPD and i learned we are responsible for our actions and our disorders are not excuse, to me, that twit felt like a lie to get out of trouble (especially with the amount of people faking or pretending to have dissorders to get away with things) , it just didnt sit well on me.

And when i mentioned I didn't like the way she handled it and that it still did not take the blame on her bc she used her DID as an excuse, my friend quickly jumped to deffend her saying she was not blaming the dissorder byt stating she abused a person BECAUSE of her dissorder (which to me sounded exactly the same, like an excuse).

So my question, am i too harsh for cutting my friend off if he dates this girl? Should i express my distate to him (my gf asked me not to do it)? Am i too harsh with the girl?