I have to be the best. To repay myself help everyone to make it up to myself. I have to make my life and the lives of others better so that I can forgive myself. That means I have to do a job that should be done by multiple people. I’m realizing a lot about myself and my motivations. I don’t have to do it alone. I forgive you! I forgive myself we don’t have to make my life this great throne to sit on to show how far I’ve come! We just have to stop sitting in the past and make a better life! It doesn’t have to be the best life! It’s ok to fail! No one’s hear to yell at you cuss you out! Don’t refrain from doing something out of fear! We’re not going to get very far doing that. We’re not going to have a better life and we sure as hell wouldn’t have the best life! Just because you didn’t try something doesn’t mean you’re instantly perfect or something you just didn’t try! I’m sorry I’ve been hurting myself for so long we don’t deserve that. I shouldn’t be retraumatizing myself anyways! Holding myself back because of my trauma never again! I’m sorry! It’s okay it’s not your fault Tyrell. It’s hard to change negative mindsets! It’s hard to forgive ourselves. I’m sorry I hurt you! I forgive you! This is my life! I don’t have to be afraid of upsetting anyone else! We’re safe now we’re in a better place! It’s over! I want you/myself to know it’s over! I’m sorry that on top of everything that was happening I was also hating myself! I’m so sorry! We don’t deserve that no one deserves that! I need a hug! I’m sorry. It’s ok. It’s over, it’s over, it’s over. I’m sorry to myself and to Ronnie but I’m not going to dwell on that to long it’s over and I’m happy. I can smile! I have a lot to smile for! I love myself!