As a trans person who has an abusive family who is not interested in romantic relationships, I feel alone to a degree that no one around me can relate to. I was forced to end contact with my abusive family and I can’t exactly make a new one. A lot of people I hear from are like “oh thank goodness for my loving partner!” But what happens if you aren’t looking for a partner? What do you do with the hole inside your heart then?

I tried to fill the hole in my heart by focusing on my career. I think I told myself that if I could be a professional actor, it would make everything okay. Now I am pursuing my dream job but the hole in my heart is still there.

On holidays and stuff I’m the odd one out who ends up sitting alone in my apartment. I’m the person with no emergency contact. If I drop off the map one day no one will know.

Wondering if anyone can relate.

Sometimes my therapists will be like “oh I understand!” And then go on to monologue about their families they occasionally get annoyed with, and I quickly realize they do not understand my life at all. There’s a unique depth of isolation/ loneliness that you feel when you have no family at all.