To start I wanna say, weirdly, the first six months of 2020 had been my best year in quite some time. I've been content with who I am as a person and that makes me feel good, but the last few months of the social distancing, loneliness and whatnot have started to get to me.

To start with, I live about 800 miles away from my parents, but I still hold a close relationship with them. I wasn't too bummed about not being able to see them at first (introvert), and though I still could realistically go see them, I don't want to risk exposing them to covid, Dad's 70 and Mom has had health issues that make her susceptible. What cracked the ice was my Grandma falling and breaking her hip, and not being able to go down and see her. Yes she has Alzheimer's and barely remembers who I am, but I still want to see her, and it killed me that I couldn't and I think started this isolation feeling i've had for the last few months.

I have a few friends where I live and the hobby we all share hasn't been affected by covid so we still hang from time to time, but even then I still get these feelings of isolation. Part of me wonders if it's due to me being single, but the rest of me always thinks that's silly. Honestly just stumped and though i'm still mildly happy it's been slowly creeping in, especially now that talks of doing a zoom call for Christmas with my parents, having not seen them now since last Christmas. I guess this is more a vent post but in a word, i'm just...overwhelmed.