I've talked before (not necessarily here) about the difficulties I've had since March. Even though I'm married and don't live alone, my biggest issue has been dealing with feelings of isolation. Yes, I have my wife, but 10-12 hours a day I'm "at work" and not among people.

As time has progressed things like interacting with pixellated, two-dimensional faces on my computer screen have somewhat paradoxically intensified these feelings of isolation. Same with running errands like grocery shopping... even though I'm out among people, the prevalence of masks (We're a good city, high compliance) makes me feel like the those around me aren't "real" and just exacerbates the feelings of isolation and the anxiety and anger just wells up inside me.

It caught up to me today in a weekly org-wide meeting at work. I was asked a simple question and just flipped out. Instead of answering I said I was "done with this", gave everyone my address, said if they needed me they could "come talk to me face to face like a human being" and left the meeting.

I honestly had no idea what I was doing while the words came out of my mouth. Later was told to take the rest of the week off and have a meeting with my manager on Monday.

I know I need to seek mental health care, but I just can't do it through tele-visits and there seems no other options available here. I don't know what the consequences are going to be come Monday - and I'm not sure I care - I just want to stop feeling isolated and angry all the time.