So ive been wanting to write this down for a while so TRIGGER warning for possibly graphic conent. i got some time so here it is.

When i was 7 or 8 my older male cousin who was 5 years older than me would sleep over. and one night he wanted to show me how to jerk off. He never said it like that it was more like "Look" at night in my room during a sleepover. He stroked his dick and then he told me to get mine out and do the same. he had me stroke his penis and he stroked mine until i kinda came? maybe idk i didnt have real semen just like clear white stuff. But i think he came i dont remember. It was only one time really maybe twice and since then ive been hypersexual and into messed up stuff. I started seeking out porn and sexual stuff at a time when it was hard to get as a kid. i was masturbating from 8-12 pretty regularly and then at 12 i found my dads porn stash. He had craxy stuff like incest porn, and so my whole life ive been into incest and daddy daughter stuff. I usually date younger women and i perv over women i shouldnt be lookiing at. Im middle aged and divorced but still want women way younger than me. So im pretty messed up. i guess it couldve turned out worse. Im not gay at all, but i have done some messed up things and gone through depression and drug use that still continues today. I hope this post is ok and thanks for letting me get this off my chest. if anybody wants to chat my dms are open for anyone who has questions or adivce or just wants to talk.