It’s eternally frustrating. You wasted years of your life on this man, the relationship wasn’t terrible. He was, if anything, too kind. Too loving. Sometimes what you want, what you need, is a man that doesn’t care all the time. Sometimes what you need is someone that just takes charge, makes a decision and is confident in doing so. Not to mention the bedroom. Sometimes you need to just be fucked. Not tenderly, not lovingly, but raw, uninhibited passion. A primal kind of need where nothing matters but two people fighting for great pleasure. He was just.. Too soft.

He just won't get it though, you left him. He fights for you back, its romantic, but he is doing everything you told him you were tired of when you were together and today, well today you saw him at the mall while you were doing some Christmas shopping and today is the day it all came out. You saw him running up to you with that look in his eye, the pleading, sad look. You couldn’t help it. You lashed out, made a scene and in front of everyone put it all out there. He’s weak, his vanilla, hes just fucking boring.

You hurt him today, you know that you did. On the way home you can remember his face and you feel ashamed. You know he cares, you know he wants to treat you right. You also know that you were justified, You want a man, that's not what he is. Why should you feel bad for telling him what you want, even if it's not him. You deserve to be happy. You're stressed, the holidays are always stressful and what you need is someone that can take that stress away. The only good part about today is that you know he finally got the hint and maybe, just maybe you can move on and be yourself, find someone that can give you exactly what you want. Find someone that for just one night will treat you like you're not even a person. Like you exist for pleasure, not love. The thought of it is enough to send a shiver down your spine and into the lower depths of your body. Its enough to forget about him.

The thought is still on your mind as you pull into the driveway. Absent-mindedly making trip after trip to unload your gifts and wrapping paper into the house, you start getting this feeling. It’s strange. You’re getting the same feeling you get when you're dressed up for a night and walking through town. Like you can feel the leering eyes of men on you. You look around and you see nothing, you see no one. Just the stress. Just your ex worming his way back into your head. You shake it off and keep moving things into your place, but the feeling keeps coming back. That little voice in the back of your mind tells you someone, something is looking at you.

You speed up the pace, get everything stored into your room. Rush to draw the curtains closed and start to feel silly about the whole thing. You're just being paranoid. What you need is a bath, maybe a night cap to calm your nerves. You get into the bathroom, draw a bath, throw on your headphones and sink into a calming bath bomb and your favourite podcast and all's right with the world again.

When you stand up, you wrap the towel around yourself, dry off, and take it back off. Tonight you're back on a hookup app, you stare at yourself in the mirror and think that somewhere there's a man that would kill to spend the night with you. You look good, you feel sexy. You wrap the towel around your hair, and start to stroll back in the room. As you open the door, you think for a second it's weird, you definitely turned the lights on when you got home and do not remember turning them off before jumping in the bath? The feeling comes back, you're alone in your place, but something tells you you're not. Maybe you're still just being paranoid, but you run to the light switch, reach out and something grabs.. Your hand? Before you can even react, before your brain is able to send a signal that you should scream, you feel yourself being pulled sideways. Another hand wraps around your mouth, stifling the scream you just registered you should let out.

You're pulled in close, you can feel the weight of the body now behind you. It's lifting you off the ground, You're struggling, but the hand over your mouth is holding your head steady, the one on your arm has pulled it in close, trapping your other arm close against your breast, neither can move. Kicking is getting you nowhere and you can smell the sweat, the breath of this person. Somehow they are taking you towards your bedroom. How do they know where it is? How long have they been in the house?

Suddenly the air rushes out of you as you're thrown straight down on your bed in the dark. Maybe if the blinds were not closed, someone might see you struggle, someone might be able to help. But now your face is down, the towel has fallen off your head and you can feel the wet hair, cold against your face and back. The weight of a grown man joins soon later. You're pinned. You hear a noise, a ripping of sorts and your arms are forced behind you. Something thin and strong is wrapping around them? Its ribbon. The ribbon you just bought to make a cute bow on the gifts you planned to wrap. It's digging into your skin and you can’t pull your arms free. Your legs are next, You're being gift wrapped and unable to even fight back. You're exposed, you're restrained.

There's a sharp sting across your bare ass. He smacked it, hard. Any other time this would have been exactly what you wanted. But then you hear it. The laugh. You have heard that laugh a million times. You lived with it, you used to think it was cute. Is it him, your ex? He’s laughing at you now. Your heart rate is pumping and you're confused, you can’t make out what he’s saying. Something about “A real man”? Something about “Show you how weak I am”.

For some reason you can’t believe it. That's definitely his voice, but it's not the voice you remember. This is not the sweet man you knew. Even worse, your feeling betrayed. Your feeling like your body is against you. For some reason you're turned on. He knows it, you feel him grab you, roughly. Rougher than he has ever been. Spreading your cheeks and laughing again. He’s speaking, why cant you make out what he is saying? He’s laughing again. Saying something about how he can’t believe that this is exactly what you wanted. He’s calling you a whore? His finger dips in, slides in, so easy. You're soaked? You're pushing back into him. Is this what you wanted?

His laughter is increasing. Between the fear and the pleasure, the deep, intense and confusing pleasure is making you shiver. You can hear him clearly now. He’s saying you can leave, he doesn’t want you anymore but he’s not done with you. You embarrassed him, he loved you and you tore him to pieces. So he is going to tear into you the way you wanted. He’s going to use you like the whore you are. You're not his girl anymore, you're just meat and he’s not giving the key back. He’s going to show you the kind of man that he is from now on. He’s going to use you, he’s going to come back and he’s telling you that you're going to have to like it. The problem is, you do.

If you are interested, please include "Christmas List" as your first message to prove you read this far, are serious and real. Prefer someone looking for more than a one time scene.

To save some time, answers to the questions i get the most; - This is for IRL, safe con non con. I am not interested in online roleplay - If you are not experienced in CNC, not a problem, be clear about that. I will answer any questions you have - First scene will be discussed and created beforehand for you to read over so you are aware of exactly what is happening and what you are getting into - I will need you to provide your hard limits ahead of time, if you do not know what they are, take some time to think about them. If you are looking to push your personal boundaries that's fine, but you need to confirm what those boundaries are and we will set a plan in place to properly push through them. - Safe words are obviously a must. Grips or noise makers will be used in the event that the scene includes a gag that prohibits you from speaking.Yes your discretion is assured - No i do not take pictures or video. If you want to, that's fine, however it will be recorded on your own device, never mine. - I host in private home, for this scene, there will be a live grab, I have my areas of which I'm willing to do them from that I have spent much time scouting / using and can ensure they are safe - Aftercare is a must. Be aware of what you need for aftercare - NO I am not interested in men. No offense, it is just not what I am looking for and I don't have any sexual attraction to men.