It wouldn't take much for you to forget to lock your door tonight. Lately, you're overwhelmed. You had to rush your emotional support ice cream into the freezer while your mother belittled you over the phone. You just forgot. In the wee hours of the morning, your cat starts to wake you up. You open your eyes, and a strange man pins your wrists to the bed. The adrenaline circuit in your brain fires and something tells you to scream, but you just forget.
The strike of a palm across your cheek throws you back into disarray as a silicon ball slides between your jaw. The scream is now but a whimper.​There must be something you should do, you think. Like that CSI scratch the inside of the trunk fantasy. Yet as you watch a pair of thick muscular thighs slide between your knees and fold you open like a book, the visage of farm animal anatomy flops onto your pelvis and the ghastly sight stuns you into further paralysis. For a moment, you misplace reality. Is this some crude joke or another of those waking nightmares? You just can't remember.
Yet the malicious intent stirring in the intruder's eyes cues you into the grim reality.No time for resistance — one swipe of your assailant's heft wedges you deeper. A silent wail sears through your core as the dim-lit room blurs into a haze. The alien sensation spikes your heart rate, ratchets up your fear, but with each grueling stretch, your resolve to endure, to survive glimmers feebly. Sweat slicks down your face, tears a bead at the corners, your squirm restrained by a vice-like grip. You stare, wide-eyed, into the abyss. The corner of your eye spots a little black box attached to a strap. It slips onto your neck and beeps. A remote materializes. A button is pressed. An electric shock pulses your entire body, leaving you limp. The little resistance you have shatters as fast as your mind. What time is it? Where am I? What's happening? What's my name? Identity fades as the enormity of his size pulses and fills you.
Suddenly, an unfamiliar surge sends sparks skittering under your skin. Perplexing, considering your predicament, seemingly incongruous, given the horrid context, but there in the thrumming abyss of fright, a strange sensation kindles. It begins as a tingling flicker, a nerve-jolting sizzle that climbs your spine, unfurls its tendrils, reaching the crevices of your mind with a forbidden warmth. It crests like a rogue wave, swelling with impending crescendo—a primal rhythm pulsating within your core. Confusion wars with instinct, the paradoxical pleasure wrestles with the dread, yet against the odds, your body fractals into a million shimmering sensations. An involuntary proclamation, an explosive release— an orgasm like stars going supernova across your consciousness. Your legs involuntarily ensnare his waist, your muscle memory gives you no choice but to embrace the warm pulse of semem against your cervix. Out of time and space, "I love you" spill out of your lips.
Paradoxical oblivion amid the monstrous invasion. All you are is your body.As you shuffle into the cold shower to wash away the night's sins, you sit on the floor and cry. You rock back and forth, and you cry. You cry until you can't cry anymore. You cry until you forget.But your body, your body remembers. Ingrained in your skin, dripping down your inner thigh, in your muscles, in your nerves — your body recalls what your mind no longer can. Hot water mingles with salty tears streaming your face, feels like acid on skin bruised and marred. Scratching, clawing at the contamination that clings stubbornly, a grim echo of the violation endured. Water whirls down the drain, with it your dignity, your peace, memory -- if only it'd be that simple. Residue lingers, seeping deeper than skin. On the cold tiles, your body curls, tighter, shielding itself in a futile attempt to numb the pain.
But your body, your body remembers. As the water runs colder, you collect yourself off the floor, an automated semblance of normality. Dripping wet, you confront a vacant gaze in the mirror — a shell housing a battleground of torment. Red welts, the strap's imprint, the black box's trace — a tattoo of trespass. A grim reminder that your body, your body remembers.Even as you shroud yourself in oversized clothes that fall heavy on your frame, your skin tingles with the phantom feeling of intrusion. As you cram your mouthful with food, tastes are bland, spoiled by the silicon ball's memory. But your body recalls. Sleep is elusive, a commodity now expensive. Shadowy figures permeate dreams, too real to be figments, too horrifying to be reality. Yet, each gasping jolt awake reveals the unfading truth, as your body, your body forever remembers. You want to forget again. I'll help you.
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