Hey!

My name is Anna (not really); I'm 23 and Dutch. This is (kind of) the first time in my life doing something like this. I have been reading this Subreddit and others for ages, and I'm very excited and a bit scared about finally taking a step. I would love to meet a person (m/f/x) (based in NL?) for an online chat and maybe more. Furthermore, I have some experience with BDsM and very light cnc with former relationships/ flings,(sometimes a reddit chat), but not really like this.

Problem definition
I have always been the girl that does everything right: I get high grades, I have lovely, sensible, fun friends whom I respect greatly, my parents are lovely, I dress like I should dress, I always have fresh and clean laundry on my shelves, I eat mostly vegan healthy dishes, I go for a run every once in a while, I read literature, I care (greatly) about social issues, and I try to participate in society. In summary: My life is pretty well-established. I rarely do something I'm not supposed to. I am responsible: I don't really make big mistakes. The people around me would NEVER guess that this part of me—this desire that brings me to this Subreddit, exists. I want it. I want to make a mistake, do something I'm not supposed to, lose control, have my agency and decisions stripped. I need to feel what that's like. Are you the person who can give me that?

-- I am looking for """"gentle"""" cnc. Not too violent, although I being rough and getting hurt physically can be fun :)! But it should be instrumental, not the goal. Not focused on physical pain but more on the psychological, mental, controlling part. I wrote down some scenarios that sound hot to me. I am open to other things as well! I'm into men and women and everything in between, although for now I only have experience with men.

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Scenario 1

You are someone who likes to play the mind game—the kind of person who makes me feel safe and comfortable first. The kind of person who is supposed to protect me. Supposed to have high ethical and moral standards. You have mental, psychological power over me, but you would never misuse that power, right? Right?

Make me do things I don't want to do, and make me say thank you while I softly cry.....

Maybe you are my therapist, and we have a (few?) session(s) first and slowly you coerce, gaslight and manipulate me. Maybe we are good friends first. Maybe you are some sort of mentor, teacher, professor, priest.

You are sadistic; you want to build me up and then break me down. Make me do everything you want me to do. Force me and control me. Use my fears to have me kneeling in front of you, looking up, confused, violated, broken.

Scenario 2

You are a bigger/older/hairy guy who loves to take advantage of girls who are younger and or smaller than you. I would love to find myself in a situation where you are slowly starting to touch me. At first, your behavior could be classified as normal, but slowly, your hands start to linger and move closer to places that no girl like me should want to have touched by a stranger like you. With fear in my eyes, I ask you what you are doing and you tell me not to worry. I ask you to please stop, but you continue.

Maybe start to say really weird and mean things to me, start to degrade me. I try to push you away, but not with too much force, because I know you are bigger/ stronger, and deep deep down I know this is what I am good for. I start crying softly. Maybe you make a few disgusting noises because of how much you are enjoying yourself. You are in power, able to do whatever you want with this girl. You touch my nipples, first just softly, but you discover you enjoy my reaction and the shock that goes through my whole body if you hurt them a little. You are enjoying the contrast between how soft and gentle you are touching me on the one hand and the reaction I have—the terror you see in my eyes on the other hand. It shows you don't even need a lot of violence and physical strength to overpower me.

Maybe then you blindfold me, you tie me up. I cry softly and ask you to stop. You push my head towards your dick and tell me to suck. You grunt and moan and degrade me. You can get anything you want: I have submitted to you.

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About me (SFW)
I'm a university student in NL, currently finishing my B.Sc. I love to read (mostly Dutch literature. I like really well-written stories about the mundane or more bizarre experimental titles), hang out/go out with friends, go for a run, take care of plants, and play Nintendo games. I'm a friendly, open-minded, and easy-going person who likes to be spontaneous. I often accidentally lose myself in political discussions with friends or strangers if I'm with someone who's also into (Dutch) politics or comparative political science. I have a slim build, I'm around 1.70m, and I have blonde hair. I think you already got that I look like an average Dutch social sciences student hahaha. Like I said: my life is pretty well-established. I've had some nice (mostly vanilla) relationships come and go; I do well at uni, I have lovely friends and a cool job.

And? What do you think?
If any of this interests you, please shoot me a private message! (I dont think comments will work) I would like to chat to anyone that felt something I wrote resonated with them. I am very open to all kind of responses. Tell me something about you—about your ideas and fantasies, NSFW and/or SFW :). If you have any questions, feel free to ask me. Please don't worry about taking your time with your message if you need to. I will be taking my time checking them! I think I will start responding to your message in a few days. Either dutch or english is alright! Dutch is my native language, my english is alright but less advanced. :)

Of course, if we talk on here a bit and like each other, we would do a photo verification after a while, and if things really progress, meet up in a neutral place. I would tell someone I know where I went and why and all that stuff. We will have talks about boundaries and safewords and fantasies and more before anything happens. It is both our responsibility that, despite everything, what we are doing is 110% consensual, safe and can be stopped at any time, any place. This should be a safe environment where we can both get what we want responsibly. You should care about that at least as much as me. Thank you!

VERY excited!!! Thank you so much for reading this huge essay. I have been talking for forever. Now I would love to hear from you :).