Here’s my original post on CNC connect: https://www.reddit.com/r/CNC_Connect/s/NKdXUvDh1E

Anyway, @southcoastfatman. (https://www.reddit.com/u/SouthCoastFatMan/s/GpQQnW2OuI) reached out, who I’ll call “G”. we exchanged pics, we exchanged std test results to ensure we were both clean, talked about experiences, established safety words (traffic light system). We had texted for a few weeks before finding a time to meet, which was difficult to arrange because we lived in different locations.

G left a key at the hotel reception and told me to go and make myself comfortable as he was doing some errands. I entered the room, and out of nowhere I was accosted by G grabbing by throat and hair and shoving me against the wall. He overpowered me easily; and I struggled HARD. Forcing a kiss on me, I struggled to move as he threw me on the bed and I was surprised by how easily he was able to manhandle me.

I tried to escape and fight back, crying and begging no, but he slapped me into submission and used ropes to tie me to the bed (that he had prepared before hand). I begged and pleaded for him to let me go, but it didn’t stop him from force fingering my pussy. I said I didn’t want this. Grabbing my hair and pulling my face towards him, he called me a slut, and that I was really enjoying this. Why would I be so wet otherwise? He slapped my face before taking off my clothes and using his belt to hit me.

G had a bag full of implements, and used them one by one on me. Being already very bruised and very sore from the events that happened earlier in the month (I’ll explain more later), every hit I cried out until I needed to “yellow” a few times.

A lot of things happened, and it was a bit of a blur, but I’ll summarise:

Notable highlights: - [ ] Making me ride him while I was tied and bound. Simultaneously he was flogging me, and torturing my tits while I was on top. - [ ] TENS!!! I cannot stress enough how much I enjoyed e-stim while being abused. More on that later. - [ ] G putting both hands into my pussy and stretching it (fingers only, still untrained and unable to get a full fist in) - [ ] Flogging my clit after stretching my pussy - [ ] Putting me in a chest harness using rope and abusing my tits after - [ ] Being thrown around like a ragdoll by his sheer strength.

I said yellow a few times during the session (more on my lowered pain tolerance later)

Including: - [ ] an unsuspecting thin whip disguised as a bracelet which made me safeword almost immediately after the second hit. - [ ] Painal - coming off an intense anal / painal from session a few days prior, my ass definitely wasn’t able to tolerate it. - [ ] Hard repeated whips - G had to modify how hard he hit because my tolerance was pretty shot after a month of continuous intense sessions

He took out the TENS device for E-Stim, as I still wanted pain, even though my tolerance for physical beatings was low; and fucked me hard while choking me and pinning my hands down. I had the most intense orgasm I ever had. And discovered that I really REALLY fucking loved the pain and intensity the TENS had on me. Great alternative to inducing pain while not being able to be physically beaten as much.

Lessons learnt: I am a proper pain junkie and masochist slut, BUT, my tolerance for pain, anal, and throat fucking was a lot lower during this meet, as I’ve had a few pretty intense s/m sessions throughout the month (about 1-2 per week). I was definitely feeling the toll of all the abuse I’ve taken the last month. And could tell that I wasn’t able to take as much as I had before.

I only really started my masochist sub journey earlier this month (Sept - when I made my first Reddit post on CNC Connect), and still exploring so definitely didn’t appreciate how taxing continuous beatings over a prolonged period would be. (One guy said I went from 0 to 100 real fast when I told him after the session. I was also told a few times I should probably slow down).

As a new sub; here’s a new phenomena I’ve never heard of. “Sub frenzy”. Where I’d have an intense session, but after I would feel addicted to the pain, the bruises and would want more. And I’d want it immediately. And want to try everything, all at once, and right now.

G attributed it to probably being new, not having enough time to process what happened, and not enough aftercare.

Aftercare comprised of a mix of cuddles and talking. We also went for bubble tea (Gs first time!). It was interesting because we were both in similar fields, so beyond doing the kinky sadist/masochist things, the mutual nerd out was also nice.

Thankfully the doms I’d been talking to were really understanding and I felt they did care about my wellbeing. (Vet and get to know your doms guys!) the kink community can be really wholesome.

I still do want everything, everywhere, all at once, all right now; but I will also be mindful and try not to let myself bet burnt out, as I feel it could come crashing down.

Anyway. I’m excited to see where this new journey takes me.