CNC is a practice in BDSM where folks PLAY with the illusion of non-consent. Huge emphasis on PLAY. It may sound like an oxymoron but here’s how it works: pals will negotiate a scene that specifies what will and will not happen between them beforehand. Everyone involved has equal decision making power in negotiations.

During this process, folks will agree to participate in acts that APPEAR non-consensual. For example: abduction scenes, R*pe fantasies, or other play where “no” actually does mean “yes”.

Folks establish safe words (stop-light system: red means stop and yellow means slow down or pause) in case a scene feels uncomfortable to ensure that consent is always able to be reestablished. Non-consent only occurs within the confines of the agreed scene and does not extend out to the relationship dynamic.

CNC can be fun for some people because it allows them to play with unequal power dynamics, explore situations where they are taken advantage of or where the exert dominance over others, all while playing safely. CNC only works when every single person is onboard. CNC is absolutely not an excuse for abusive behavior.