Please read all of this before replying. Sincerely, please.

I am a 44yo whiten woman and I am extremely gifted at gab and I can exchange quips with the best of them. I love to read nonfiction, watch documentaries, listen to music, hang out with my friends, and even play some of those really stupid games you can get on your phone. I am very open-minded but I have a low tolerance for idiots. I can’t stand when I’m talking to someone and I have to pull the conversation out of them. I also don’t like small noises, like knuckle popping and chewing with your mouth open. I’m extremely kind and caring, but once I feel I can’t true you, I have no problems cutting you off.

I’m looking for someone close to my age that’s interested in chatting throughout the day. I would put an age range, but something tells me most won’t pay attention to it. I’m looking for someone who is just as skilled at conversation as I am. I want witty comebacks and you need to be able to handle your own against me. I don’t mind being challenged. I am not opposed to the conversation becoming flirty, but if you send me a dick pic out of the gate, I’ll find a voodoo priestess to curse your dick so it will go limp. Forever. Do you really want to chance it? Also, don’t ask for a picture right away. I once read that men think 60% of women are attractive. I feel fairly confident I will fall somewhere in that 60% range for most of you, but I want the conversation to be genuine and not forced because you might be attracted to me. And if I do show you my face and you’re in the 40%, you can tell me if you don’t want to talk anymore and we will be on our way. As for me, I am attracted physically to manly men. I like LEO, military, men who work with their hands, that sort of thing. Not saying you have to be any of these things, but it might increase the amount of charm I lay out in my banter.

I am only interested in finding 1 person to talk to so if you’re out there and interested, please take the time to send me a message that will at least match the same energy I’m giving you here. It might take me some time to reply, but I promise I’ll read every single one and write back to those who interest me.

I hope to meet one of you soon.