I smoked various different types of concentrates/ carts every day all day for 4 years straight. I’ve had 2 major, debilitating episodes this year, 4 months apart, but before that I also experienced countless times throughout my cannabis usage of one quick vomit in the early morning, then immediate relief and was able to go on with my day to work and such.

My last episode started on Thursday and ended Friday, THANK GOD. It may also have been triggered by me drinking less than half a glass of wine the night before at dinner for my birthday as i’ve read alcohol is a trigger, and I hate alcohol, I rarely ever drink it and if I do it’s just a few sips.

I tried to go cold turkey once I got better on Friday but I was absolutely not able to sleep until 6 am whatsoever, had horrible constipation, and lack of appetite.

I have completely eliminated any concentrates/waxes but since Saturday, I have been allowing myself either one to two tiny blunts or bowls a day, all which I share with my fiance and never just have all to myself, at the very end of the day, to help me sleep and not face the withdrawal symptoms.

I already feel a lot better physically, and mentally. But I am mortified of experiencing another episode. Yes, I know, clearly not enough to stop what i’m doing to myself. I realize that I am in denial, just trying to rationalize for me to be able to keep smoking when I shouldn’t, that a lot of people are probably gonna tell me that this is really bad and I just need to quit cold turkey. I just find this so mentally difficult, it’s really hard for me that everyone around me smokes daily as well but nobody else goes through this around me.

i’ve been trying to eat really clean and avoid all trigger foods, I’ve been drinking a lot of water and going on walks. I feel good.

over this weekend, I’m planning to not smoke anything at all as I don’t have to be at work at 6 AM the next day and can afford to stay up that long if that happens. I may also try to be sober the entire weekend and see if I feel good without it overall, because I feel really great without it during the day. I don’t miss being high all day whatsoever, which I thought I would.

Is what I’m doing OK or am I bound to have another episode? has anybody done what I’m doing and stayed OK for a long period of time? I understand everyone is different as well and that your experience may not be the same as mine.

please don’t judge me I’m sorry It’s so hard to quit I know i am weak for taking this route and am ignoring the facts but i’m not mentally strong enough to drop it entirely