Why doesn't anyone else make text posts here?? Live the dream and post some food porn erotica, guys. Talk about how your pizza makes you feel while you bite into the pepperoni, the oil sliding against your lips as the cheese stretches from your mouth towards your plate as you start to put it down, but before it makes it, you're already pulling it back towards your eager mouth again, ready to swallow more.

Anyway, I read menus for fun. If I'm eating out alone for whatever reason, sometimes I ask to hold on to the menu even after ordering because I like reading them. A year or two ago, I was with a former boyfriend at Applebees but he was my server and I was just sitting in a booth, writing stories and slamming dollar margs because they had just come out.

I got writer's block and decided to read the menu. There were different sections for the different foods, nothing unexpected. At that time, there was a page dedicated to "lighter fares" that listed overpriced small dishes and showed how many calories are in the two-lettuce-leaf-and-single-gram-of-chicken salad that costs over $7.

If you looked though, there was a text bubble off to the side that was titled "Looking for something lighter?" Curious, I read it. It was a small advertisement for Michelob Ultra.

I laughed. And laughed. Yes, Applebees promoted drunkorexia. "Not hungry enough for food or on a diet?? Try alcohol instead!"

That was all I made this post to say. Sorry I got carried away with food porn erotica at the beginning.