So my 22 birthday is almost a month from now and the thought of having to go through this day being alone and miserable again kills me. For the past 3 years ive been spending my birthday alone in my room venting about poor life choices and crying myself to sleep for being just a regular day.

I know im putting high expectations for that particular day and i should lower them down a little but atleast i need a BD gift,i need to go out with someone special to spend the day,i want to even get birthday wishes but i barely get any. I dont want to be that same miserable person anymore and i hope i can change that in any way shape or form. Having to carry the disappointment from one year to the other is extremely painful but i dont wont to be the same person anymore .

i want to change that for now and forever. Maybe in this month i could reach out to enough people and strengthen my already present relationship so that i would have people around me at such special day? Maybe thats the way to go around it. I choose to bear the pain of rejection than that of loneliness.

Ive been so inhibited for so long i cant even remember maybe a little opening up will do the job. I wanted to get this off my chest and put some time frame for me to reach out for people as it will give me a sense of time and accomplishment. Ill keep updates on daily or weekly basis here as the month goes on.

Any suggestions for places to look for or activities that would make my journey easier is accepted Have a good day y’all! ^{^}