It seems like self proclaimed feminist men might actually be the most heinous form of misogyny. They hide behind this virtuous shield but in reality don’t view women as equals.

I went on a date tonight with a man who was a strong self proclaimed feminist who believed in chivalry and being respectful.

When I arrived, the vibes were okay until we sat down and started chatting. I soon found out he’s very deep into anime/cosplay spaces (which is fine on itself) but was accompanying deeper beliefs on how women should behave. Everything I said he had to one up. I told him a hobby of mine and he’d almost chuckle and bring up his own accolade in that field to take me down a peg (ie, told him I’m a writer and he told me about a story he wrote in kindergarten that got published). He also had very odd reactions to simple questions and would make a big scene to try to make me feel dumb for asking very reasonable questions.

He randomly dropped the fact that he’s obsessed with porn and anime in the middle of dinner. When he asked what I was looking for, I told him I’m seeking more of a sugaring relationship, which we spoke about beforehand. I asked why he dated young women and he said “less baggage” and “more open minded” which to me sounds like “less experienced to be able to call out my being a creep”. He said that women his age didn’t like him when he was younger because anime and gaming used to be so taboo. He said “why would I bother giving women my age the time of day now, they rejected me then so they don’t deserve me now”.

It’s concerning when men refuse to engage in self reflection. In an hour upon meeting he mentioned being obsessed with porn. I assume he’s learned to reel it in a lot since he was my age, but find it funny he has such a disdain for women who didn’t want to be around his objectifying behaviour as opposed to just becoming a better person.

So here’s my list 1) refuses to date women their own age (especially when they date down significantly) 2) mentioning anything overtly sexual within the first meeting. 3) proclaims to be a feminist and seems to be playing some kind of character (he went so far as to tell me all the names of his foster animals and all the places he’s ever volunteered) 4) Constantly trying to one-up you 5)Attempting to make you feel dumb 6) Instinctually Critiquing and correcting you