EDIT: There seems to be a miscommunication. I am don't mean to say that he actual urban city life is the source of suffering. I'm criticisng industeial society at large, raising people to be consumerist, exacerbate their empty sadness and forcing them to earn food through tasks that isolate them from the realoty of where food comes from.

I saw no other place to put this

Being a worker in today's world is humiliating.

You are removed from the animals killed to make your meat. The ground your vegetables grow from. You're taught that it's pointless to grow your own food or choose not to eat a steak because the systems are all bigger than you.

When isolated from the mechanisms of survival, you're forced to perform humiliating tasks to earn your survival. You're stuffed with emptiness that craves filling.I grew up a middle-class kid consuming art & media thst treated realoty like an immaterial playground. I now earn my mortgage deposit making materially ignorsnt art for companies that determine its right to exist before I do.

Though it's all so farcical I play along amyway because I see no escape. I don't want my child to be born into a world where I need to take from him to sustain myself; and I have nothing material to give him for his survival. I fear a world where I am unable to love because we have been lied to.about what love is.

I have ADHD and have struggled to meditate consistently ever since I started 5 years ago. I'm so sorry about how self-indulgent and desperate this post is. I guess I have always admired Buddhism but felt it insccessible in this concrete jungle.