Hello and apologies for the dramatic title! I’m struggling with the fear of dying at any moment, particularly in the context of rebirth.

Firstly I’m not 100% sure about rebirth whatsoever - but from some experiences I’ve had and seeing how it motivates practice - I’ve come to choose to trust it. The process of death is of course usually not pleasant, and it requires relinquishing this self, but that’s not the stuff that’s getting to me. It’s the fear that I’ll die before having made any contact with the unconditioned. Or seeing my true self. Sotapana. Whatever the term. I’m struggling with the fear of dying at any moment, particularly in the context of rebirth.

Firstly I’m not 100% sure about rebirth whatsoever - but from some experiences I’ve had and seeing how it motivates practice - I’ve come to choose it as my belief system. The process of death is of course usually not pleasant, and it requires relinquishing this self, but that’s not the stuff that’s getting to me. It’s the fear that I’ll die before having made any contact with the conditioned. Or seeing my true self. Sotapana. Whatever the term. Without getting to the bottom of it.

Of course on the one hand, I know letting go of this is the only way to progress in the practice. This stress is doing me no good to enjoy my life or relieve suffering. On the other hand, I also know that this is the fuel for the fire on my head. Without this awareness and contemplation of death, there’s not quite the same relentlessness of practice.

How do I let go of the fear part of this thought, and how do I balance it properly? Any advice would be deeply appreciated! Before having some kind of “permanent” experience.

Of course on the one hand, I know letting go of this is the only way to progress in the practice. This stress is doing me no good to enjoy my life or relieve suffering. On the other hand, I also know that this is the fuel for the fire on my head. Without this awareness and contemplation of death, there’s not quite the same relentlessness of practice.

How do I let go of the fear part of this thought, and how do I balance it properly? Any advice would be deeply appreciated!