It’s been two months since my breakup and a month since I’ve had any contact with her. I’ve become a completely different person during that time and have literally reinvented myself. I have religiously gone to the gym, am in the best shape of my life, practiced on my vocals 5 days a week, enrolled in some acting classes and have really worked on getting my finances back on track. The only thing I need to get better at is with my diet lol.

I have such confidence towards my goals and dreams for the future. I feel very special and lucky for being strong and head right during this time. Believe me there was definitely hard times, days where I would spend hours crying, days where I was so desperate just to get her back, depression is an asshole too. It’s still very hard, but not as hard. I still cry, I still get desperate for her to text me, for her to reach out and tell me that she wants us to work out. From the second I wake up to the moment I go to bed I think of her. It’s hell because of all the horrible shit she did to me I still love her and dream of her coming back. But…….

I won’t take her back. I know her, I admit I’ve also checked her socials from time to time. I know she’s going out and talking to guys, that she’s running away from her feelings and busy getting high as much as she can. I see her as a fucking bum and a loser. She lost her best friend for cheating on me with her crush. Yet she doesn’t hold any accountability for what she’s done and doesn’t understand why she was judging her. She’s a ragefull hobbit who hates when anyone calls her out on any flaws in her character. She has not grown at all during this time. She said she was going to therapy the last time I spoke to her but I doubt she took it serious or even went to it. She’s on Twitter complaining about dealing with fuckboys and of course it hurt me but it also makes me happy knowing that she’s gonna be down bad for a long time with her attitude and habits.

She wasn’t special, she wasn’t the “ONE”, she’s just some girl, a very fucked up girl. I feel bad of course because I love her and I want to protect her. But I love myself more and I want to protect myself first. She lost someone insanely special and considerate and now she’s dealing with trash. Thank god I dodged an atom bomb.

I also want to thank everyone on this sub. I come here as much as I can and the stories here are so inspirational and gave me strength when I didn’t have have any.

Remember love is enough just make sure you give it to yourself before anyone else ❤️