It's been a week of full NC. She is in a new relationship, has a lot of friends and family in her life. She is probably not thinking about me at all anymore, though not a month ago said she loved me. She left me because I'm a lot older and there were too many challenges.

Every day I want to contact her to tell her what I'm thinking, how I feel, etc...but then I stop myself. She's experiencing every day life in a happy new relationship surrounded by friends and family. At best, reminding her about my poor state of mind, crushing loneliness and sadness is just going to get in her nerves. At the end if the day....fuck her. She chose another because being with me would have meant obstacles and complications...she didn't worry about what I'd be dealing with. She got to think about things, make a decision and pull the trigger all while I was in the dark. The option, the ONLY option most of us have is to move forward and not look back. Accepting that they are dead to us in our lives is so hard but so necessary if we want to recover and thrive. Today I face another day of stopping myself from breaking NC, after all doing so would just make things worse and wouldn't make her feel anything or change her mind. Had to get this out in the open.