I (27F) separated from my ex (30M) in April this year after discovering that he was receiving inappropriate pictures from another woman and was emotionally cheating. It completely blindsided and broke me. He had disclosed prior that he was experiencing severe depression, and we were in the process of navigating that when I found these pictures. I asked him if he wanted me or not, and his response was that he didn’t know. So we separated.

This meant I had to pack up all my things and find somewhere new to live after living in our home for 2 years. It was so heart breaking and humiliating. Our relationship had been close to perfect; we never fought, we got along well, never got tired of one another. Even up until the end I was always so excited to hear him come home or receive a text. He had 2 months before I moved out to change his mind but he didn’t. The whole time he told me he still loved and cared about me the same. We talked about reconnecting in August to (in his words) see if there was still a spark. I told him that if he slept with someone in between April and August, I wouldn’t go back to him because I knew I wouldn’t be able to get past that. He told me not to try and control him. I wasn’t, I was simply telling him how I would be.

Fast forward a few months and I knew he was dating and sleeping around. I had spent those months trying to pull myself together and find a new path in life. I’ve almost finished my new uni degree, I am actively looking to buy my own house, and I am about to start a new job that is over double my current salary. I also happened to meet someone who is really lovely and who seems to be better suited to my personality (it’s just hard to give him my all when the break up is still fresh).

My ex found out I was dating. He called me at the start of August to ask for a second chance. I don’t know what to do. On the one hand I have this new guy who so far seems great, but isn’t sure about marriage and kids (which is what I eventually want). And on the other hand I have my ex, the first guy I’ve deeply loved and had a life planned out with, but who has hurt me profoundly. How could I ever trust him or go back to him and feel like I’ve kept my dignity? I don’t know what to do.