My (F23) ex (M22) broke up with me 6 weeks ago, after a particularly difficult and stressful semester for both of us. We were together for almost 2 years and it was both of our first serious relationships. We were living together in a dorm for the first time (after being long distance for a year due to the pandemic) and the rules were really strict (we couldn’t leave campus, couldn’t go into other dorms, classes were on zoom, etc.) so we were spending way too much time together. Our opportunities to do things with others and to do things outside of our room were really limited so we probably fell into a co-dependent dynamic. I have ADHD, Anxiety, and Depression and so I inadvertently became the ‘taker’ (which I didn’t realize at the time, but I do now and feel really guilty about). The pandemic of course exacerbated all of these issues. By the last 6 weeks of the semester (out of 15 weeks), we were having dumb fights and I was in a bad place emotionally so I was irritable and critical. During one of those dumb fights, he broke up with me. Communication fell apart between us and I think he was feeling smothered. He said he still loves me, but he couldn’t be with me anymore because we were making each other unhappy (he also had his own mental health stuff to sort out). He said he still wants me in his life, but also asked for space post-breakup. He didn’t block my number or any social media. I sent him a message after 35 days NC apologizing for my instability, acknowledging how it led to problems, letting him know what I was doing to hold myself accountable and change the behavior and just letting him know that I missed him. He hasn’t responded (it’s been 10 days) and I haven’t made any other attempts at contact since.

I am now doing therapy, seeing a psychiatrist, taking antidepressants (for the first time), working on re-establishing healthy routines, practicing mindfulness, journaling, and doing a lot of reading about how having ADHD and mood disorders can affect romantic relationships. I am spending time re-connecting with other people in my life and getting back into old hobbies (which I had kind of lost during the pandemic).

He’s my best friend and we were still close even leading up to the breakup. We were still affectionate and silly and we were still regularly having sex, so it doesn’t feel like the spark died completely. We had also planned a future together. He just graduated and in April, took a job on campus, in part so we could continue to be close together. I am going to see him in the fall because I work part time in the office he took a job in. I miss him a ton and I am trying my best to move forward, but I still feel like there could be a future for us. Any advice on how I should proceed? I am pretty devastated because we were so close and it just feels like the breakup was caused largely by situational factors (as well as the things I’m now working on). Will he miss me or just forget about me?