Hey everyone, long time lurker, first time poster.

For history, my last relationship, and also my first relationship, was long distance. We met online and become very close. However sadly we didn't get to meet each other in real life after 14ish months of speaking to each other. 10 months ago I broke up with him for my own reasons and joined this subreddit for some solace.

Well, here we are. I'm coming out of Covid quarantine fully vaccinated and feeling optimistic to join the ever growing population of "singles ready to mingle".

Met a nice guy on Bumble and went for a very intimate and physically close date. We had tons in common and it felt like a drug trip of happiness to hold someone's hand and be seen as an truly beautiful and interesting person by someone else.

I thought I was ready for it, and I wasn't. The sheer amount of physical attention he gave me was extremely overwhelming, and despite giving positive feedback to him on our time together, I decided to decline planning a 2nd date.

I really thought for sure that I was ready for a real, grown up relationship with another human being. But I'm just sitting in my room sobbing that I wasn't as over my first bf as I thought I was.

Any advice for taking yourself for failed new dates and keeping the hope of new fun and love? It feels like my whole love life is just going to be "working on myself" from the last relationship and never really getting over anything to live in the moment and have fun.