We agreed to break up because of his relapsing depression. I won't state the reasons here but his issues started when his dad cheated.

He has irregular sleeping patterns and doesnt have appetite to eat his meals. So I encouraged him to seek help professionally. He said he will try and not forced him to go. After a few weeks, he became cold and distant. Doesn't want to talk or reply to my messages. I kept asking myself did i do something wrong? I also suspected that he's cheating on me.

Last Tuesday, while scrolling here on reddit, I searched for his account and got surprised that he has a comment below the thread about valentines day plans and what he did share is different from what he did last valentines.

So I confronted him about his depression. He doesnt know what he's feeling. He want to be alone and is easily drained with a simple interacrion. He always says that if I'm already tired of him, he's giving me a chance to leave him. So I told him i will be here for you but he pushes me away.

I opened up the issue about the comment I read in reddit. At first he was denying it. In the end, he told me that he really commented it. He said that he only did it for him to get caught in the act so that I will get mad at him and leave him for good because he has no courage to break up with me.

I dont know what did i get from this confrontation. His feelings are valid but I can't help but question his loyalty for me. He asked to break up so he can be treated professionally. Even though i dont want to, I gave what he want. I think its selfish of me if i dont want to breakup just for my sake. He also told me that he didn't know how will he handle the relationships outside him.

Our conversation became helpful because he opened up to me. I also told him what he did with the cheating part was wrong. Idk if he really cheated or not. Its just sad that we ended up this way because we have been ldr for 9 months and trust is a big issue for me.

He wanted to be on good terms and do the things that we do normally but I think I can't. I need to moveon and heal on my own. We've been through so much and it went downhill that fast. We always have a open and healthy relationship and always compromised. Then this happened.

He said that he'll get treatment because he loves me and he will do it for himself. Once he can manage it already, he will go back to me. I told him i'll wait but i dont know until when. We have to heal on our own.