So I started a very intense long-distance relationship a few months ago. To start it all off when we first started talking as friends she was in a long-term relationship. She was going thru some problems here and there so I would talk to her. Eventually she said she had feelings for me and that she was considering breaking up with her boyfriend. She said she'd been considering it for a while but the feelings she had for me was escalating things. I'm not going to lie, I pretty much said I liked her too. A couple days later she breaks up with him. I told her I didnt want her to rush into another relationship, to make sure she knew what she wanted all of that. She said she would, but also that she knew what she wanted. A couple weeks later we start "officially" dating. About a month later we meet IRL and are together for a week. I say it was intense because we were talking every day for hours on end, when we were together we were either going out, having sex or sleeping.

Over the next month and a half things got even more intense. We were talking about me moving to live with her, which woulda meant me leaving my life and friends and moving halfway across the US. We were using the L word all the time, she was saying she'd never been so happy before, she was posting on social media about us constantly. And again, every day, we were talking for hours either thru text, voice or video. Even when she was going to sleep she wanted me to stay on the phone with her. We had another visit which was pretty much the same as the first. We started even talking about the possibility of getting married not too long after I move. I know it sounds crazy, we had just met a couple months before, but we were talking more than I'd talk to people I've known my whole life.

So the last time we're together, visit 3. Everything is going great. We go on a trip, stay at an airbnb so we don't have to deal with roommates. The last day we go back to my place. She wants to do the traditional "ask her father for permission" regarding marriage. I am head over heels for this girl, no doubt about it. And I had every reason to believe she was the same for me. I mean,nothing she ever told me sounded insincere. I was in 100%. Well she wanted me to do this a bit earlier than I planned, and I told her Id rather wait until we live together to ask. She seemed to understand. Makes sense. Then we start to fool around, as you do. Something awkward happens where I'm just not performing the way I usually do, we had really just had sex about an hour ago. I was trying to please her with a toy and fingers, but I'm not the most experienced with toys for one, and I just don't think I was that in the mood. Well eventually she sorta just pushes me away, and I'm a bit bugged about it. I don't fly off the handle or anything but she can tell that I wasn't into it at all at that point. I try to reassure her, its not a big deal its just sex. But after that the rest of the night something was off. She was supposed to leave the next day and I didn't know what to do... so I did nothing. We go to sleep, the next day we wake up, cuddle, chit-chat and we go to the airport.

I pretty much don't hear from her for the whole trip home, which was odd given there was layover. Later that night she tells me "realizes" she's still in love with her ex, and had been struggling with these feelings for a while. Despite a day before telling me she wants to get married, a week before telling me she wanted to be together forever. Obviously I'm devastated. She gets back with her ex a couple days later. It makes no sense to me, she insists that this incident had nothing to do with it but it clearly did. Since then we've chatted off and on, I know I shouldn't have but damn its been hard just wrapping my head around it. It started off as she "realized" she didn't love me to she "did" love me to she "forced herself" to stop loving me. I feel like I'm getting mixed signals, which is my fault for maintaining contact at all. She's still with her ex, she's still insisting they're happier than ever, posting on social media about it and all. Pretty muche the same she was with me. I need to stop looking and communicating with her, but jeez louise how the fuck does someone go thru such a complete 180? And since then seem to be struggling with what her feelings really are regarding me. What is your perspective?