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It's been over two months since we went no contact, now. We did that before for two years, when I broke up with him. We resumed contact then only for him to realise, that he's over me, that he doesn't love me and that he doesn't even want to find out if there are still some feelings hidden inside of him. He told me I needed to do what he did when we broke up the first time and wrap my head around the idea that it's over and there's no going back. But I can't. And I don't want to. Yeah I messed up, but he's my soulmate. How am I supposed to ever let him go? I wanna fight but he basically removed himself from the fighting ground. Should I give up? And how do I do that? How do you let go of real love? How do you just stop loving someone? And what if he DOES come around in a year or so?
I went through literally the same exact thing. Down to losing jobs I supported him financially because he was always âstudying for the barâ that he never took so yeah I completely understand what you went through and Iâm still having a hard time getting over him, even though he physically abused me. We become so addicted to the cycle and trauma that itâs incredibly hard to break free from but once you do a man you feel so much better. I know you can do it try and just stay away. Itâs not healthy for you. you deserve real love.
May I ask how long you were with this person for? As a survivor of DV this sounds a lot like love bombing and then the mask falling off. You say that it was the perfect relationship yet you lost Job because of him? Thatâs not âone out of the booksâ begging him to stay to the point where you ripped his shirt? My ex was the same way for about 3 months until the mask came off. As my therapist said âyouâre in love with the person he showed up as not the person he truley is. â look up trauma bonds. Thereâs a bunch of podcasts about them too.
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Happy to help xo