I lost her. She was everything. I'll never get to hold her again. I can't stop drinking. I keep hooking up with strangers just to feel less alone, less hopeless but it just makes me feel empty. It's been months, and yet I feel like we split yesterday. It's unbearable, and I don't know what to do. It hurts way too much. Even when I sleep, I dream about her. I feel like the air has been pulled from my lungs. Like the ground fell out from underneath me. I'm slowly letting my life decay in front of me, and I can't get myself to care. I don't know what to do. Everyday feels the same now. The same. Every. Day. I'd do anything to see her smile, or just hold her hand for a second. The pieces of me are falling faster than I can catch them. I had to say something about how I really felt. I have to pretend I'm fine with EVERYONE and I can't keep doing it. I've never felt anything this awful. I'm sorry for unloading hah, getting a lil SIlLy. I hope everyone has a great day