We both live in different countries and we meet online, first she come off as someone who had bad horny habits (and unfortunately, so did I) like dressing too revealingly and a bit sexual jokes but i went along with it and i was happy, after 3 months of hanging out, i asker her religion, she said she's Christian, i told her that i was a Muslim and she was totally fine with that (i was unsure about it but i was like "you can't know what will happen in the future.") So i decided to stay because i really liked her.

2 weeks later, she became completly a different person, giving up from horny habits and stuff, i was totally okay with that, then she started the whole "focusing on myself" or "i have a relationship with god to fix" thing, texting me late and barely has a tolerance to talk with everyone, even herself admitted why is she acting like the way she does, she said it was mostly because her mother passing away, i understand her wholeheartly cuz i also lost my father and i know how it feels like but unfortunately i'm an overthinker and at the same time i felt attached to her, so i started act more clingy and making bad jokes.

After a while, she broke up with me and offered me to say friends.

I didn't want that cuz it would only give me wrong hopes.

I apologized her like 10 times over and begging for her to give me a second chance, she forgive me but also said "the answer will always be no :)"

It's been a month but it still hurts, i can't stop thinking about her.

What makes me mad is that if you already know we both believe in different things, why would you just continue? relationships shouldn't be a game and yet, 2 weeks after the break up, i still tried to talk to her, she rejected me again while saying "hey i don't want anything romantic anymore, i'm focusing on god😁❤️" and blocked me again.

I swear, love is not real and will never be.

(Sorry if there is some grammar mistakes, english isnat my narrative language.)