So from June-November I was in a sort of situationship type thing with a guy. He wasn't over his ex. Very avoidant. A lot of childhood trauma. Regardless of the fact he sort of strung me along and probably just wasn't that into me I feel like personality wise/appearance wise he was borderline my dream partner. And I feel like he had all these unique subtleties that I can't realistically expect to just find in someone else. Usually after going no contact I struggle for about a month and then forget and move on quickly (ADHD, no object permeance) but just when I'm starting to feel like I'm moving on it hits me again how much I just miss him. Even as a friend I fucking miss him. No one I've spoken to since compares to how much fun and joy I had when I was with him. I'm just scared I'm going to be forever vaguely disappointed by anyone going forward but I don't want to just be alone forever too..