Been nearly 7 months, still my first, middle and last thought of the day. Have gotten rid of everything that reminds of her yet there she is, in my dreams, thoughts and everything else. She doesn't think about me, she sends me the occasional meme and we hang out sometimes. But never ever ever on her accord, I always have to ask. I have rules to follow to be friends with her "don't call late at night" "don't ask me what I'm doing" etc. Yet I have no rules, I pickup the phone regardless of the time because she's my friend. Her partners and new dates are so much better than me. Taller, musclier, more money, I assume funnier, better looking, with drive and ambition. Just better than me. I try and date but get no matches or anything, I try and meet women organically but to no avail, maybe I am not good enough or deserving of love.