Basically, my ex never communicated throughout the whole relationship lasting for 4 years and 7 months. I didn’t know what she didn’t like about the relationship, what she craved from me and how she felt throughout the years until she erupted because of how unhappy she was and wanted to do the therapy together and eventually still left me.

I learned a lot from the therapy and I admitted my main problem is my temper. However, I found out it’s caused by how frustrated I was communicating by with her. She constantly ignored my wishes and took things from me in a careless way, which made me feel disrespected. And what else could I have done to let her I I felt disrespected after taking to her many times in a peaceful way? I started raising my voice and of course to no avail. And I have to use a more intense way like shouting to let her understand. But still to no avail. Everything was not a big deal for her. Every time we had challenging topics, she walked out and just said “stop!!!”

For her she understand her miscommunication is an issue. She admitted she should have told me everything and communicated with me. She told me she’s scared of conflict and that’s why she didn’t want to say anything. She said she didn’t like my attitude. She didn’t like my sensitivity. She felt forced to do everything. I was so unhappy in this relationship. But how the hell was I supposed to know all this if she always said she loved me, smile and laughed and did cute things with me all the time without speaking up. I knew many things only after the therapy, and I told her we know our root causes of the issues and we could try it out, and she just told me she was so unhappy she had to break up…

I felt she held the resentment and grudge within herself without letting me know, and all these built up and made her unhappy, which caused her to end the relationship. But how about me? I didn’t know anything…

Before the three month break for the therapy and before I left the apartment I own to come back to my country and let her stay there since she didn’t have any money, I told her I was scared she would move out before I came back. She shook her head and told me she would never do such things, and she would stay here until I came back and together we would sit on the sofa and sort everything out. After I heard what she said I gave her a hug and said, “Let’s fight for us and our future!” before I left that door. And guess what? Three days after she broke up with me over a text, she moved out! So moved out, and of course all this sitting of the sofa sorting things out is bullshit.

Today I texted her and told her how selfish I felt she was and she never kept the promises she made. I told her when you promise someone who cares about you, you are like signing a contract with the person by words, and if you won’t keep it if you only think for yourself and ignore the other’s feeling. And then, she asked me to stop talking about the past. She said I took responsibility but she was unhappy in the relationship and she doesn’t want to be with me anymore. She also said she didn’t have to justify her action. She’s happy now.

What kind of person is this.

I flew to the country where she lives for her, and then I flew back to my country for her as well.

I feel it’s like…consider our relationship as a building. I moved to the building with her, and, and she found out something she didn’t like and she tried to fix it by herself without telling me. And the more she fixed with poor skill, the more flimsy the building got, and eventually it collapsed. However, she had another building to go, but I didn’t have anything left all of sudden. And when I went to her new building to talked to her about how she single handily destroyed the building we had together without my awareness, and then she told me to shut up or we shouldn’t contact anymore, and that she didn’t like the old building. She told me to just move on and accept the fact and don’t bother her because she’s happy now.

What the fuck is this? Lacking empathy and responsibility at this level.