I (25m) have been with my gf (27f) for going on 3 years. She has ptsd from SA and childhood trauma (dad tried to drown her, neglectful mom) so she never touched me or said I love you unless she was drunk. She used to drink a lot so it worked out enough in the beginning.

Every time I would ask her to be more affectionate she would shut down, say she had trauma and I just needed to be patient and stop bringing it up. She would watch me break down & cry and not even hug me. This went on for 2 years of her avoiding my affection and pushing me away

She refused to go to therapy until recently and over time I found her less attractive because of her behavior while drinking and the constant pushing me away.

Eventually she started warming up to me and now she will occassionally hug me or bring up sex. But by then I was pretty much checked out of the relationship and my mental health had been going down the tubes for 2 years

Sex feels depressing because she doesn't initiate anything, kiss, or do foreplay. She just lies there and avoids any positions that require movement

I am also tired of the relationship for other reasons, like I have to pay for 100% of our dinners / dates, she has no car, she doesn't hang out with friends, and she can't socialize in groups unless she's drinking

In August I finally told her we should break up, during a fight. She had been drinking at a party and she scratched my hand, screamed at me and pushed me down on the bed. She said she would jump off a nearby bridge that night if I left.

So I stayed & comforted her cause I didn't want to call the cops and she was at my house. I tried to break up over text a week later but she made me feel guilty for doing it that way, and ubered over to talk

Now I feel trapped. She's acting the sweetest she ever has, always wanting to be around me, making me dinners all the time, bringing me gifts etc. But I still want to break up

I just don't know how to do it, over text, in person, and what do I say?

Whenever I tell her my needs or our incompatibilies she just invalidates what I'm saying and says that it's not true or that she's working on it. She's even offered to open the relationship

How do I just break it off when she has a comeback for everything?

TL;DR

My gf threatened suicide last time I tried to break up in August. She screamed at me, scratched my hand and left me feeling scared. I stayed & comforted her

Tried to break up over text and she guilted me for doing it that way, came over to talk and I gave up. She's much nicer lately but I still want to leave

She has a comeback for every objection I raise or incompatibility I state. How do I break up with someone like that?