I know it needs to happen. I've tried over and over to communicate with him the issues and try to work on it, and he panics and will improve for a little, but soon slides right back into it. I've been with him since 18. I am 25 now. I feel like I am about to cut off a gangrenous leg with a rusty spoon. I know it needs to happen, but it's going to hurt so, so bad. I feel so guilty knowing I will hurt him but he is hurting ME. Being with him has BEEN hurting me. And I don't want to hurt him but I just can't do this romantically anymore. I wish I could go back in time and keep us as just friends. He's not a bad person. He's just a shitty partner.

I've been crying and grieving it and it hasn't even happened yet. God. This sucks. I don't want to be alone, but you know when that looks better than staying- there's a problem.