It's ok for ur ex to be happy without u. If u loved them as much u claim u did thats all u should hope for. They are happy even if it's without u. Every time I was with the love of my life something would go wrong to put our relationship to the test and everytime we just overcome it we would coming crashing down in a ball of fire. The last thing I told her was to f off and lose my number after she said she never wants to speak to someone like me again. I don't even remember wat the argument was about but I know it ended how any of our big fights ended. Up in smoke. I love and I really do want her to be happy and to an extent I know it's more likely to happen without me then with me. This can feel like a horrible feeling but trust me it's if u really love them ud suck up that feeling and let them be happy without u. I won't ever move on completely cus a part of her will forever be with me and I with her hopefully. I wish her nothing but good fortune and a life long enough for us to be able to try this all for the last time. So idk about u but i just want her to be happy even if I'm not in the picture anymore and can't seem to function without her.