I don't blame you for wanting to leave me. I blame you for all your big words and promises, for all the times you've pushed me away while I was fighting for us, for all the guilt you made me feel by constantly saying I would be the one to leave you, for gaslighting me into believing I'm going crazy, seeing ghosts and being jealous for no reason. I blame you for ruining my mental so so many times just cuz you were imagining stuff, I blame you for taking me away from my friends because as you kept saying you required "constant attention" and were so in love with me that you couldn't be away from me. I blame you for being dishonest to me and for developing feelings for another while you kept saying you loved me and in the end cheating on me. Don't fool yourself, the fact that -as you claim- you took 3 seconds to send me a breakup text and THEN kissed and cuddled him (if that is even what really happened) doesn't mean you didn't cheat. You were wearing my t-shirt and even that meant nothing to you, you had told me you loved me 2 hours before kissing another man while wearing my fucking t-shirt. I blame you for being a fucking shitty person feeding me "kind" lies after you broke up with me and still being so fucking immature that you wouldn't even own your fucking shit behaviour and kept guilt-tripping me telling me I've fucked your mind up during our last month. It wasn't even a fucking month that we were having the fucking problem, it was 18 days since you met that tumor you now call a boyfriend. You were just mad I saw the red flag immediately and called you out on it. I wish you go through all the shit you've dragged me through, I wish you feel every bit of pain you caused me. You told me that you'd have commited suicide many times if it wasn't for me being in your life and then proceeded to rip me out of your life and throw me away. You should grow the fuck up N, you're cancer, look inside you, solve your fucking personal issues before you infect anyone else. Fuck you!