Still going through all the stages of grief almost daily, but mostly at acceptance....

Anger. Why can't you forgive/accept me as I am? I have forgiven/accepted your mistakes/inabilities that are similar in nature....

Bargaining. If we can just commit to being able to commit to each other... I know we both still need a lot of space to become financially, mentally, emotionally stable.... I will pay 100% for couples therapy. I will be the first to take the leap of faith. Please, just take it as soon as you can...

Denial. It all just feels so surreal.... last night you came over, as I held you in my arms... our spiritual connection still feels so strong. Stable. Like it has so much potential for continued growth.... I keep reminding myself to breathe, but it feels like any moment now you will return to me and say we can be together again.

Depression. You say you don't trust me, you say the thought of me stresses you out, even tho I truly feel our beautiful moments together far outweigh the bad, you just don't see it like that.... you don't believe in me, us, like I do.... I know feelings aren't reliable, but a part of me feels like I am dying.... like I will never meet anyone who helps me grow, who I feel so comfortable to be my weird, authentic self with again, who I have so much fun with... wah, wah, wah...

Acceptance. But.... I dont want us to be together if it doesn't fill you with happiness and hope the way it does me. Our relationship is the most beautiful experience I have ever had. You helped me find myself again after I was so lost... you inspire me to make the world a better place - in small and big ways. I love you so much and I just want you to be happy. If us breaking up is your best chance at happiness, then I 100% agree with your decision.

You're so cool and I miss you so much.... I'm so sorry I failed you. I will always love you....