Hi everyone I wanted to share this story with y'all cause I thought it could be relatable or maybe not. I was with my ex for 5 years but the beginning of our relationship we had an argument that broke out which he ended up calling me a n word with the hard r (he was white). I tried to forgive him but I always held a grudge. We ended up breaking up because a friend realized I wasn't happy in the relationship and suspected he had called me the n word after a racist comment had been made to him about being Hispanic.

Fast forward 6 months down the road I met a guy on tinder that I really liked now this situationship hurt more than my ex somehow I became obsessed with him. He had similar qualities to my ex that I liked but seemed not to want me more than sex. I began chasing him trying to seduce him and all other things you can think of.

Eventually he couldn't take it any longer as he didn't feel the same way I felt and we stopped talking. Fast forward 3 months later I am on vacation he contacts me we reconnect and I visit him as he moved far away and I decided to fly out to him.

The meet up didn't go as planned but I still had feelings. We start texting and it's same thing how believes we can't date. So I don't leave him alone and I did tell him the story of how my ex called me the n word if anyone were to call me that I would never speak to them again

So one night I text him from a textnow app and he wants me to stop talking to him. But I won't leave him alone. He then texts from a different number impersonating a girl thats dating him and (I know it was him due to timing) and calls me the n word with hard r calls me a Rosa Parks cause I don't drive calls me a hippo cause I'm thick tells me I'm a slave and he was just using my pu**y and whole bunch of other things.

He then tries to pressure me to apologize to him calls me on the phone to admit that it wasn't him then tells me he has lawyers if I try to slander him tells me he's told everyone what happened so whatever I say they won't believe me tells me that he thinks it was x y or z that did that that night.

Now after that situation I was in more of a mental mess than ever before. I felt like this is what I deserve and I brought the situation upon myself. I gave myself 9 months to recover.

Although I'm over the situation I still remember other things this man told me about myself when I'm alone like how he thinks no one would ever be with me till I'm 30 ect and I do get emotional about. Cause dating right now is terrible as we all know.

Is there actually something wrong with me?