Me (M22) and my ex (F23) broke up over a month ago. I still feel like shit , and still having some really bad lows. The breakup was my fault in more ways than others. I was very insecure in the relationship and never really communicated in the way I was supposed to. Recently I have been trying to reconnect with old friends and find new friends. I reached out to an old fling , while we hooked up few times , we also talked a lot and were good friends so I reached out to reconnect to have someone to vent to. Little did I know that at the time when we stopped talking she had feelings for me and felt used , once I started dating my ex. So I reached out not really thinking anything of it , she then blew up on me because of show felt used and I ofc am I apologizing because I felt bad and had no idea. One day later , the girl posts a picture of her and my ex drinking together at a bar. I’m assuming she reached out to my ex and it blew my mind. I reached out w no ill intent but for her to reach to my ex and god knows the amount of shit talking the probably transpired. Now I feel sick to my stomach because while me and my ex didn’t end on super bad terms , I never wanted her to hate me. But now it sucks knowing she probably thinks the worse of me. I have been trying to accept and forgive myself for what I did in the relationship but now with this , it feels like I took 20 steps back