The last couple of nights have been interesting. My ex contacted me about two weeks ago and during our series of emails she kept blaming me for everything. At first it was sweet you know I miss you everyday and I'm struggling all that. But as the conversation went on it slowly turned into you did this wrong you did that wrong. I can't trust that you have changed. Finally I realized nothing has changed with her. She still thinks she did nothing wrong she lied to me for 6 months and tried to justify it. That's when I lost all and I mean all romantic feels for her. I started to see a new women recently and she stayed over during the day because she works nights. I looked at her for a minute while she was sleeping . I asked myself would I give up what I have with her to get back with my ex. The answer is without a doubt fuck no. Then I asked would I give up my place for my ex again fuck no. Would I give up the peace that I have created and the answer is fuck no. Then I realized all the heart break all the crying the asking to fix it and all that is what lead me to that particular moment. I know it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel but it's there I promise you it's there.