I've spent the weekend with my family, i don't live in my hometown, it was a nice weekend even if my feeling are not sorted out.

Today i'm back at work and the feeling are starting to hurt, i feel almost like cry but i can't cause i'm at work, sitting in my confortable chair with my computer watching me with some sadness in the eye.

This morning my collegue asked how i was doing and i told him i was a little sad..."still sad about something so insignificant!", i stopped talking.
At the end i'm a grown up man with a good work position, i own a house, nice looking etc, this is what other people tell me, why feel sad over a breakup when you can finally make new experience on your own!

I know that something is tricking me in thinking that there is something unsolved, the gut feeling that tell "see she told you this and that...now is not the moment cause i want experience life, maybe in the future we will reconnect, i want you to be the father of my child, and sending reel during NC "akai ito", i don't know from where and why these word come out if in the meantime she was broking up with me.

I know that in my mind i'm still linked to that image of a future together that i'm trying to shatter with all the little energy i've left.

But it hurt a lot.

At the end of the day i'll go home, we usually called that "our home" and will be another lonely evening trying to not break down imagining her around.

This sub is helping me a lot cause i don't have a lot of support here, thanks a lot to you all, the one commenting or reaching out by text, supporting or talking of own story, cause it help realize at least i'm not completely alone.

Thank you all.

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