We were the ideal progressive gay couple. We loved one another, our sexual tension was right, our characters matched perfectly, and above all, my fear of him not loving me made me able to normalise direct communication. Just asking what I was afraid off.

I could see it in his eyes. I ignored it, but still, I knew. And he didn’t. Or at least, he didn’t want ti. I confronted him while we were still together, multiple times: there’s a connection missing from your sides nod music, not sex, just the way he could look at me while toothbrushing. He denied. “I think you can’t accept my love cause of your fathers trauma.

“He abused our open relationship. He didn’t see me anymore, wherever we were. I confronted him again, this time with a letter - one being cryptic enough to read it as if we were fine together.

We were. Untill he brok,e and let mee learn from my He wanted to . My