It’s been 2 months now. i’ve had break ups before and not done well after but this relationship was so much more deep and meaningful than anything i’ve ever experienced before. No closure nothing just abruptly ended. We were together for 2 years and long distance for most of it due to her grad school. I still weep almost everyday and think about slitting my wrist or stabbing myself in the heart. People keep saying it gets better but i don’t see how it could. She is living the life I want to live in the city making new friends while i am stuck living in this ugly shitty southern state with not a lot of people my age, so I am constantly reminded of the future that i could’ve had. other than the first few days there have been no improvements. I know i should not depend on someone else for my own happiness but i cannot possibly see how i could be happier with anyone else. The only time i have any hope is when i think about ending it all but when it comes down to it i am just too scared and don’t want to pass my pain on to my family. All i want is to be able to move on, I can’t make her love me. However, I am incapable of not thinking about her constantly, she is my first thought when i wake up and my last when i go to bed. I truly think I would be better off if we had never met.