Currently going through a breakup from a 3yr relationship. She broke up with me a month ago.

I've been doing some introspection and honestly the relationship was amazing but not perfect. She was amazing but not perfect. I was amazing but not perfect. We really did do the best we could but we all had our own issues and battls from out own traumas that caused us to do and react in certain ways not knowing these could be triggers or just horrible.

She was unemployed and struggling to get work which made her really depressed and she had put her worth in getting a job and also prove to her dad she could be something

I was recently employed and started a side hustle and the stresses and and the pressure to not fail was a lot for me. I only recently through therapy understand what emotion regulating is and what triggers are and how to properly release emotions without affecting others. I also now understand what attachment styles are and how past trauma has a huge impact.

Basically my point is that yes I was blindsided and it really really hurt. But also we weren't healthy alone and probably weren't the healthiest together. I urge those who have been dumped to introspect and go through your relationship and yourself with a fine tooth comb and realise:

1. Your triggers
2. Your trauma
3. Your attachment style
4. What love is to you
5. Was the relationship perfect

And anything you feel you need to go through by yourself, with a therapist or trustd ones and you will realise that it was not as dandy as we thought it was and the signs were there we just unknowingly ignored them. Being it you pr your partner some issues and problems were at play. For me it was both of us. For others it can be the partner and for others it can be themselves. But whatever it is it's always best to be whole alone first.

Btw I suck at writing and write how I speak. Hope it makes sense to someone ❤