If your ex has a traumatic past, has things like depression, PTSD & the like. Don’t hold out hope you’ll get back together. It’s probably best you don’t. Their dysfunctional behaviours helped erode your relationship. No matter how helpful you tried or try to be, it won’t make a difference. They were always going to leave or force you leave them due to their self sabotaging. You can’t fix them. It’s up to an individual to fix themselves.

Victim mentality, excessive people pleasing & covert contracts are toxic. Even in otherwise good, kind seeming people. You don’t need this in your life, as these things are a ticking time bomb. You’ll always be blamed because they habitually avoid accountability to shift away guilt which would further lower their already low self esteem. But it is their fault, make no mistake. They will always systematically dismantle a relationship with cumulative poor choices in order to fulfil a negative self belief (“I’m unlovable”, “ everything always goes wrong”).

You can’t reason with them. So don’t. If they can’t love themselves, they definitely can’t love you. Move on.