5 year relationship, she ended things because she didn't feel "it" anymore and started to gain feelings for her boss and they slept together a couple weeks after we broke up.

It hurt me pretty badly but the writing was on the wall. I've been dealing with untreated depression for the last few years and have really become a blank canvas of a person. I was negative, always tired, never put effort into our relationship, etc. Since the guy is her boss, his boss told him that if he catches him sleeping with underlings he's gonna get fired. So he ghosted her and has since acted like nothing happened. She's pretty torn up about it. I think she had genuine feelings for the guy.

Anyway, I asked if she wanted to hang out and she said yes, we spent the entire night talking about life, dancing, and just hanging out. One thing led to another, and we ended up having sex. It was great sex too. We laid naked on the couch afterwards and cuddled and it was just a great time.

I feel like I'm caught between a rock and hard place. I've been so lonely ever since the breakup and having her around and being able to do those things has really helped me. On the other hand, it's so hard not to keep wanting to hang out with her and go back to our old ways. I'm scared every time we hang out I'm going to go in with expectations and when it doesn't happen or she's colder it's going to hurt me.

I guess I just don't know where to go from here. Do I take the loneliness in exchange for self respect and stay in my own lane? Or do I keep hanging out with her as friends and continue to keep hurting myself if things don't always go as planned? I love her like family at this point. Completely losing her would haunt me forever.